I am weary.

I started 2020 with such high hopes and lofty goals. Instead, I found myself in a marathon that I never signed up for. Of course, I didn’t realize it was a marathon going in. At first it seemed like a short sprint, and I was running on adrenaline. But as the days turned into months and I’ve had to let go of all my best laid plans time and again, my energy started to diminish and discouragement set in. Can you relate?

Runners talk about hitting the wall. For marathons, it often happens somewhere around mile 18. It's that moment when the physical exhaustion of what has come before and the mental exhaustion of what still lies ahead begins to grow overwhelming. It saps a runner’s will to continue, especially since the finish line is nowhere in sight.

I have officially hit the wall. I’m tired of being separated from my friends and church community, tired of how every issue seems divisive, tired of Zoom meetings and air hugs. And as we head back into a new round of quarantine, I don’t see the end in sight.

One of the most psychologically devastating aspects of hitting the wall is how lonely we can feel in our suffering. It doesn’t matter that we’re surrounded by other runners. We can’t see beyond our own exhaustion. We can’t feel their pain. And so we feel isolated, as if we’re the only ones who are struggling to keep going.

But I’m discovering that I’m not alone. As I speak with other pastors, friends and neighbors, I’m finding that they are also weary. They are also lamenting the myriad losses that this season has brought upon us all. Just knowing that I’m not the only one struggling has somehow eased the weight of my weariness.

God never intended us to run this race alone. He designed us to do life in community, to spur one another on and bear one another’s burdens. So may we fix our eyes on Jesus, the one who guides our steps and sets our pace. And may we lean on one another through this marathon. If you’re feeling lonely, isolated, discouraged or depressed, please don’t try to gut through it on your own. Please call someone. Process what you’re feeling and ask them how they’re doing. Share the weight. Hold one another up.

Just don’t let the wall be your finish line. 

"Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." Galatians 6:1