“We’re in this together.”

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this over the last several months, or how many times I’ve said it myself. And yet, like runners in a marathon, our exhaustion narrows our focus and makes us feel like we’re alone in our suffering.

We are all tired. We’re all grieving losses. We are all feeling the effects of forced isolation. Forget thriving, we’re just struggling to survive with our sanity intact.

And we all have some things we wish for right about now:

• I wish someone would call. I really need someone to talk to.

• I wish I could borrow someone’s hope. I could use some encouragement.

• I wish people would be kind to one another. Why does everything turn into a fight?

• I wish I had someone to process with. Someone that wouldn’t judge me for being in process.

But the phone’s not ringing and most of the places we’d go for human interaction are closed due to Covid. So we turn to social media for a hit of community, for a reminder that we’re not alone, even though it can be incredibly impersonal and often degenerates into arguments. But at least it’s better than feeling alone, right?

Loneliness and isolation are some of the most damaging side-effects of this shutdown, and they’re causing huge spikes in addiction, depression, domestic violence and suicide. Something has to change. Someone needs to address this epidemic. But rather than wait for some politician or doctor to come up with a solution, what if we are the solution?

What if we become the sort of people who give to others what we need ourselves? 

• Rather than sit back and wait for the phone to ring, what if we pick up the phone and begin to reach out to people we haven’t seen in a while?

• Rather than lament a society that seems to have lost its ability to listen without attacking, what if we become the sort of people who listen – truly listen – with the intent to understand, not simply to find the flaw in their thinking.

• Rather than adding to the cacophony of criticism and critique that is dominating our public discourse, what if we go out of our way to speak words of life, to build people up rather than tear them down?

• And if we can’t think of anything nice to say, what if we practiced what we’ve been preaching to our kids all these years and didn’t say anything at all? Or better yet, what if we took our frustration and used it as a prompt to pray for God’s blessing upon those who disagree with us? 

This approach may not change the world, but it would certainly change our posture towards it. It may not eradicate loneliness, depression, or division from society, but it would make a huge difference to our sphere of influence. Just think of the effect of a single candle in a dark room. A little light goes a long way.

Jesus said it best: “Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets” (Matthew 7:12). In other words, giving others what we’d like from them is the best way to reflect the heart of God into our hurting world.

So rather than focus on what’s wrong with society, rather than lament that people aren’t giving us what we need, let’s be part of the solution. Let’s give what we need.

After all, we’re in this together.